Recently, Rocky the chihuahua and I were taking our usual afternoon constitutional. It was a frigid December day in the Garden State and we were appropriately dressed for the weather. I was wearing my knee-length, purple, down coat which I refer to as my "Barney coat" (as in the dinosaur, not Fife.) Rocky was sporting a little black nylon number that had a snappy red argyle pattern down the center and a black faux fur collar. As his own fur is also black, he looked more than cute, he had star quality! And then it hit me; Rocky, or the Rock Star, as we affectionately call him, looked like a rapper. All he needed was a diamond chip in his front tooth and a fire hydrant-sized gold medallion around his neck, and this boy would be ready to sign a recording contract! Whether or not he can carry a tune, I'm not sure, but I do know that the Rock Star would have no trouble scaring off any pesky paparazzi. Grrr!!!
The thought of Rocky as a rapper amused me so much that I began to mentally create other dog/celebrity pairs. Almost immediately, our little Adorabella came to mind. Of course, with her flair for the dramataic and her over-the-top extroverted personality, she would make a perfect Lady Gaga. She'd be a natural! And that meat dress...why our girl would be all over that one! "Allison (her personal assistant), order me one in every flavor!", she'd bark. "Now!!"
Next I thought about two of my newest clients, Sheila and Jessie. These girls are energetic little pomeranians who are usually dressed in the most stunning matching pale pink wool coats with fur collars and cubic zirconia buttons you've ever seen. Michael Kors, eat your heart out! Give them each a grande Starbucks non-fat latte, and a cigarette, and you've got yourself the perfect canine version of the Olsen twins. "Ashley, Mary-Kate, stop that! That's a toilet bowl, not a margarita pitcher!"
Lucky, the mini schnauzer, cracks me up with his smile! Now, contrary to scientific opinion, dogs do smile, but this boy takes it to a whole new level. When he's happy to see you, he breaks out into a big ol' toothy, floppy ear-to-floopy ear, Pepsodent grin. Not exactly attractive, but heartwarming nonetheless. Think Jon Heder in Napoleon Dynamite! "You wanna play me?"
Last, but certainly not least, comes Elvis the Labradoodle. While this boy looks nothing like the King, with a little hair gel he just might be able to pull off wearing a gold lame suit, or at least a white satin collar and leash combo with gold buckles. Sadly, his howling is a bit off-key and his lack of thumbs prevents him from strumming a guitar; however, the last time I walked him we passed a basset and I could swear I heard him humming, "You ain't nothin' but a hound dog..."
